Our "soon to be" Boys

Today Jarred and I got to see our "soon to be" boys again. The foster dad met us at our house today. He also brought some of their things with them. After showing them the house and talking a while we left and headed to a bowling alley. The boys are 2 and 3 but have never been to a bowling alley before. This was something we thought would be fun and exciting to do for the first time with them. All five of use get ready, Jarred and I decide to take turns with the boys to bowl. I went first with the older boy and it was so funny. He was excited from the time we walked in because of all the balls that he saw in the bowling alley. We went up there and rolled the ball. It was fun to watch them roll the ball down the lane and see what they got. Neither of the two boys were remotely interested in the pins, but rather in rolling the ball down the lane. Each boy tried running down the lane at least once. Jarred and I were able to catch them before they got too far so that was luck. I went up to bowl with the younger boy once and let him try by himself. He pushed the ball and it just got stuck on the lane. It kept rolling back and forth and then finally stopped in the center, one of the workers had to come out and get the ball off the lane. From then on I tried to help him push it down the lane so that it wouldn't get stuck.

After bowling we went to eat at McDonald's. Of course being so young they love McDonald's. We had fun just being with the boys and the foster dad. The foster family that they are with are great and we really enjoy being with them. So far the time we have spent with the boys have been great. I can't wait to spend MORE time with them or even for them to move in with us. Jarred and I are already attached to them a little. 

ADOPTING!!!

As all of you are well aware of, Jarred and I have been on the path to adoption. We have been through the up and downs and have been very discouraged. We have now been through four interviews. The first interview was the worst one because we were so nervous and it was a weird situation. The next three got better though. We knew what to expect and understood the process a little more each time. Just about every interview we went through was for boys. There were two that involved at least one girl, but normally they were boys. Our first interview was in October, the second one was in November, third in December, and the last one was today. The first three we were not chosen as the parents. I would get so discouraged and never understood why we were not being chosen. I thought we were a great family and very open to having children in our home. We were READY! For some reason GOD chose not to give us what we really wanted and had us waiting. Well today we had our interview for 2 little boys. They are very young, but very cute! We got home today around 4:10 from the interview. By 4:58 they called us and instead of hearing the news "sorry, but we chose another family" we finally got the goods news of "were glad you are still interested because we chose you." That was the best news ever.

Of course we are SUPER excited now, but also nervous. Everything about our lives are going to change with these two little boys in our family. However, we are ready for it and understand what has to happen. Our lives are going to revolve around these great two little boys. We are going to have the best family ever. I will keep you updated, but as of right now we are suppose to have them moved in with us by March 10th! Just one week after my birthday!!!!!!! What a great birthday present for me.

Another One

Well Jarred and I have had three interviews so far for kids. We haven't been chosen as the family for any of them, but has scheduled another one for January 19th. We are always glad to have another interview, especially when it means starting our family, but they are so hard to go through just to get denied. This time we are going to have an advocate from our case workers office go with us. I hope that this advocate can help make people see how great we are. Everything works out for a reason and I know that, but it is hard to follow everything just to be saddened again.

We are talking about trying another thing to have our own kids. I have already done the basal body temperature thing, tried clomid, and have been to the doctor for check ups to make sure that everything was okay. The next step is to possibly try the IUI. These are not as important as IVF and may be something that we could do. This also means that we must start going back to the specialist that we had before and see what he has in mind. Please keep us in your prayers as we are going through all of this. It would be so much easier if we were rich and could just adopt a baby! Things aren't meant to be easy though huh?

We are back in school after our break and so far it has went well. We had a snow day yesterday and that was nice, but I always hate making them up. Jarred and I went around and got things going for our passports. We are both going to be people to people leaders. We are leading a group of students around six different countries with two other adult leaders. I think this will be a great time and especially since it is free. 

Hope everyone has started the new year off right. Mine didn't start out very good, but I am hopeful that it will just get better.

Welcome to 2011

Well this year has started out pretty good. Of course we are just starting day 2, but it has been good. Jarred and I brought in the New Year at Beef and Boards this year. In the past we had been doing things with family and friends or just sat at home a couple years doing nothing. This year we wanted to start out differently. We went to Beef and Boards for dinner and a theatre production. We had dinner before the show started. Then we saw the "25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" at Beef and Boards. It was hilarious and kept us laughing the whole time. Then after the show they set up for the orchestra to play and there was some singing and then couples were dancing. I did get Jarred on the dance floor a couple times. We put our ball room dancing lessons from college to use by doing some swing dancing. It was fun, but it was so hot with all those people on the dance floor. Then we watched the ball drop on the screens they had up. Once the ball dropped they had some more music and dancing. Finally around 1:00 or so we had a breakfast buffet. We finally left around 1:15am. It was a good time. Then on Jan. 1 we didn't really do to much. Jarred ended up staying home all day, but I went shopping with a gift card that I got from my parent's for Christmas. I was able to get a lot of new clothes.

This is our year! I believe that this year is going to be the year we finally get chosen for some kids. We are excited to start and know that things are going to happen in his time. It is hard to be patient, but I know that we must be in order for things to get done. We have another interview on January 4th and are excited about it. We know that these children may not be for us, but it's always worth a try and we know that some will be for us eventually.

This year we are also both in with the People to People Leader program. The trip that we are suppose to be leaders on are traveling to six different countries. I am excited about this and will hopefully be able to go. Right now we have about 30 students signed up, which means I will be traveling. If we get 10 more signed up then Jarred will be traveling also. However if we end up having some kids by that time then Jarred decided that he would rather stay home and have me travel. Since I will be traveling this summer I have to go through the process for my passport. I did this once when I was around 16, but of course my parents did most of it and now it is up to me to do it. Hopefully we will be leaving the end of June or beginning of July. This trip is a 20 day trip and I am excited about all the possibilities. Of course if I go I will be updating a bunch of pictures on my fb account so make sure you look for them.


HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone! I hope everyone has started your year off great.

Questioning

I just posted a day or so ago, but after our church program I think it is important to post again.

Jarred and I have been trying to have kids. We have tried the natural way, but also through adoption. I think that this has taken a bigger toll on me and my faith then on Jarred. I think about it all the time and can't seem to stop thinking about having kids. I have wanted to be a mother since I was a teenager, but knew it would be best to wait until I was older and settled before even trying. Now I just keep thinking that it would have been easy had I started younger. With the medical problems I have it is so hard to get pregnant. Being around so many people who have "no problem" getting pregnant is so hard for me. I am a joyous person and love celebrating everyone's news, but it is hard for me to keep celebrating everyone's pregnancies when I haven't been able to get pregnant. It is even harder when we go to adoption interviews and then aren't chosen. Most of my friends have either had kids or are currently pregnant. With all of this it has been so hard for me to keep my faith as strong as I would like it to be.

I know that God is with us and that he has a plan, but the longer it takes for us to have kids or finally adopt the more my faith drops. I don't know how to deal with this and sometimes I just don't feel strong enough to deal with it anymore. A lot of this is one of the reasons why this year I haven't been going to church as often as we use to. Our church family is great and I love being with them, but I feel like God has just left me. He has been given good news to so many of my good friends or other people that I know, but I have yet again been left out of this. Then when I hear of people getting pregnant with their second or third child it gets worse. Also hearing of those parents who have had kids and then take their child's life is so hard on me also. Why would God give someone a child who just turns around and takes that's child life, but not give a family who really wants a child and would care for them in the best way possible one? This question is one that has me questioning everything.

I've been going to church since I was 5 years old. I loved being under the roof of God. I knew that he was important and really enjoyed learning about him. I understood just about everything that was being taught and loved the everlasting love that one gains from just believing and knowing that God is there. When I went away to college I didn't go to church because there wasn't one around that I felt comfortable in unless I was with my in-laws. I did go with my in-laws when I was there, but that wasn't often. Then when I went home during the summers I started working all the time and didn't go as often as I would have liked. Once Jarred and I moved to my grandpas we didn't go because we knew we wouldn't be around long enough and didn't want to be in a church and then have to find a new one. Now we are in a place and plan to stay. Our church family is awesome, but of course they can't "help" our situation any. 

How do I continue to keep the faith when I feel so heavily that God is letting me down so much?

The Christmas Program today at my church was great and really made me question how I have been feeling. I know that there is a God, I believe in him, but I am still having trouble following him and worshiping him the way I feel it should be done because of how I fell "abandoned" by him.  I feel my faith falling, know that I need to do something to keep it on the right track, but I just don't know where to start when I feel so left alone.

God is here and is always here, but how does one who is losing faith because of one reason or another get that strong faith back and continue to push forward in life when they feel like they are being taunted. Everyone else I know has what I want and I don't know how to be around it or handle it anymore. I think one of these days I am just going to break down.

Been a While

Well it has been quite a while since I have updated the blog. Jarred and I have been pretty busy lately. Basketball games have started so I have been working those and Jarred has been selling stuff for our Best Buddies fundraiser at each game. Jarred and I have also finished our first group project and our first master's paper. The first class that we are taking will be officially over January 15. It is exciting that we will be through our first class.

On December 16th, Jarred and I had an interview for a little girl. We felt that the interview went along great and was very comfortable in it. However on Friday we got a call and they chose a different family. This is the second interview we have had and still haven't been chosen. Sometimes I am sure it takes a lot of them before they do choose a new family like us for the kids. We are still looking and trying our best. We are very interested in a lot of kids and know that there is a family out there for us somewhere.

On the 16th I also had an eye examination. This was something I wanted because I have had headaches and blurry vision lately. So I went to the eye examination and the doctor said I needed to get glasses. The prescription for my glasses are some minor and I don't have to wear them much at all. It is so weird to have them on, but they have helped a lot.

So Christmas is coming so quickly and we have lots to get done and going. We are leaving after the games on the 23rd to head to my grandpa's. This has become a tradition since we lived there. We go and play cards and wake up there on the 24th to watch my grandpa open his gifts. Then Jarred and I leave to head to the Jagger Christmas Eve party at Aunt Cheryl's. Then we go back to Jim and Jayne's house where we wake up Christmas Day. This year, just like last year, we will get up and drive to Jason and Amy's house to open Christmas gifts. After gifts are open Jarred and I will say goodbye so that we can drive to my parents house to open more Christmas gifts. We will stay at my parents house and then we will come home the 26th or 27th. This is such a crazy time of year. We have decided that once we have kids we are not going to travel as much because we want our kids to wake up at home on Christmas Day.

I believe I have updated you on everything now. Hopefully I will remember to do it again soon!

Daidra

Time to start

I have so many family members who have started a blog that I thought it was about time that I started keeping one also. I will try to update my blog at least once a week. Of course everyone knows how that works most of the time. This blog will serve as another way for me to inform all of our family and friends about how our journey is going.

Most of you already know that Jarred and I are in the adoption phase. We are searching for the perfect family and know that god has one for us somewhere. We did have our first opportunity to interview for a sibling group of two boys. It was a new experience and one we will remember. However, we were not the chosen family. So many kids out there need help and we are just the ones to do it. 

Jarred and I have also started classes for our master degrees. We started on October 23rd and they seem to be going okay. This is an important journey for us and one that is going to take time and strength. We will hopefully graduate by December of 2012 and know that this will help us in our career. 

Again, thanks for reading and hopefully updates will come often!

Daidra